The signature song in the popular Disney animated film "Frozen" exalts the relief experienced when the young queen Elsa finally stops repressing the power to create snow and ice out of thin air, which leads to a perpetual winter in her kingdom.
Like Elsa, I have impulses that I repress--like the impulse to say mean things when I am angry, or the impulse to meddle in the affairs of others instead of letting them make their own mistakes, face the consequences and learn their own life lessons.
If you are a parent, you know this is the hardest part of being a parent--letting the little birdies fly from the safety of the nest, because they might fall and harm themselves. Like birdies, people must learn to fly on their own.
This week I am focusing on prayer and spiritual practice, hoping to give my own life a tune-up in the process. Yesterday I tried to engage with my anger and worry. Whenever I started to work myself into a good funk, I took a deep breath and tried to turn my negative spirituality into positive spirituality and pray.
At first I felt like Elsa, even more frustrated because I didn't know how to make a prayer that wasn't just help-others-to-be-more-reasonable-and-see-things-my-way. I generally don't pray that, but I don't always get past praying not to want to pray that.
Under all the feelings of frustration because other people can be so foolish and destructive is a feeling that I am also foolish because I can't make others see their foolishness.
The next step is to figure out what I should be focused on instead of worrying and fretting about what other people are doing, and to figure out what is missing from my own life and pray about how I can fill the emptiness that I'm currently filling with worrying about others and their stuff. The Buddhist's call this constant worrying "monkey mind" because like a monkey it swings wildly from one place to another. And the answer is just: focus on praying and working on some other project. So today I'm going to return to another form of prayer I have enjoyed in the past: prayers rendered in an artistic form. I'll post my results in tomorrow's blog.